I usually save this for the end of year but my fingers got itchy.

http://stageofslumber.livejournal.com

I’ll see you there and then, ta! (:

Do you know, that tonight I gazed at one of the most beautiful skies I had ever seen.
I didn’t know Singapore could offer that.
It was beautiful, and i don’t even want to put it into words for fear that my vocabulary wouldn’t tally the magic I felt today.

And then there was you,
fuzzy haired, bag packed, and all set to go.

I was in a rush, I didn’t want to get into trouble and I rushed you.
And you said, ‘don’t rush me, baby.’
And something in my head said quite nasally, ‘To hell with your worries, to hell with consequences, to hell with what comes next. What have you got to lose?’

And I grinned, because that nasal something was right.

Live for the moment, innit?

And after that I didn’t rush you.
We took our time.

And before you left I kissed you under the night sky and said,
‘I want to spend nights like these with you.’

And you -
You just smiled your all-knowing smile and hugged me,
And that was all I needed.

Alright, so it’s not the best picture, but for the record, they were some pretty awesome people to work with.

The Theater Compass show was real awesome, loves to all those who turned up! Will upload a picture of the group soon enough, but for now, i think I’m just going to smile and let the day take me.

Uh, National Day! I’m going off later at 6-ish to watch the fireworks, cause recently, they’ve really, really impressed me. Going to soak in patriotism now. Maybe wrap myself in the flag (isn’t that somewhat illegal? I think we were talking about a Singapore flagged bikini sometime ago) and yeah, cheer my lungs out for our country beloved … or I’ll just settle for making fun of the aunties in white and red.

You know, I’ve been through some pretty rough waters these past few months – but none of them ever amounted to this – that cold you get before performing on stage in front of a crowd.

Whoa.

Honestly? I feel like dancing, laughing, crying, and rolling around on the floor all at once. Like, there’s cold steel in my bones, my spine, my calves; I can feel it.

Ahhahahah, I am so psyched.

We’re all going to do some great things in our lives, or at the very least, some pretty awesome things. We’re all going to do some crazy shit now and then, and we’re all going to remember them at the far years of our lives and we’re going to grin and regale those tales to our grandchildren like the semi-senile hags we are.

I’m having the best and worst time of my life and I wouldn’t ask for more even if I could.
I’ve got the best and worst of people in my life and I wouldn’t rid any of them even if I could.
(Alright, maybe I would, but I’ll put them in Ohio or Dubai or somewhere comfortable.)

And you know, I’m in love with one of the biggest dork who ever lived. And I’ve done some great things with him, some pretty awesome stuff, and we’ve gotten ourselves in a whole load of crazy shit. Yeah, I still love you, Megs. Probably more now ;)

Oh, and for the love of anything residing with love, do come for the show I’m involved in.

Clicky click to enlarge.

Maybe sometimes, all we need is good company. Some really good company, and the reminder that if you block out enough, and just live for the moment, things can feel alright.

I’m not running away from anything, and I’d hate to say I’m compromising again, but you know what they say. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.

I think what’s really meant is that what doesn’t kill you would probably try again but hey, if I do get through this, then I must be one heck of a fighter.

What everyone needs. What I need.

Now my life is one big make it, or break it.

Hold your head high, heavy heart
Save your strength for the morning after.
So take a chance and make it big,
Cause it’s the last you’ll ever get.
If we don’t take it, when will we make it?

- The Phrase That Pays, The Academy Is …

xxx

Hey, crazy things happen, right? I’m all geared up for the ride, I just need my faith, my friends, and a whole lot of strength.

This is ridiculous.

I am utterly disgusted at how this is turning out. You want so badly to protect me, to perfect me, that you try so hard, so fucking hard, that when you fail, you pick up the pieces and wonder where you went wrong.

You want to talk about religion. Do you really want to? Because what you’ll hear is far from what you expect. You thought I’d lost my faith in God, you thought I’d lost it all, my morals, my conscience, everything. But I’ve far from lost my faith in God.

What I lost was faith in the religion, and in you.

I never did stop believing in God. I had issues with him sure, but I never stopped believing in him. And my morals and conscience? God forbid the last few months only strengthened my ethics, and to tell you the truth, the degradation of my religion principals didn’t just start recently – it goes years back.

I’m not who you want me to be. I get it. And you will never be the person I look to for support or emotional well-being. Problem is, you don’t get that. You will never be, unless you learn to let go, you learn to accept. Take a look around. Take a good, hard look. I’m like a fucking saint in comparison to all those juvenile delinquencies out there.

But you’ll never get that either, will you? It’s just your religion that matters, your principals, your rules, and your ability to blow things out of proportion. You’ll never accept me for what I believe in. And that’s just it.

This is the last time I play the victim, the bad-childhood-sobbing-kid role. You want me out then fine. I will gladly leave, and you can seethe in contempt but I won’t be around to take your shit anymore.

This is one of the times I take a stand in my life. I don’t want to compromise anymore.